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     Home Movie I bought a video camera. I'd been tempted to for a long time, and yesterday during my lunch-break I drove to Circuit City to check out the latest crop of camcorders. The unit I had in mind was a camera I'd seen a commercial for: a Panasonic with something called "Electronic Image Stabilization", which keeps the picture steady even if the camera isn't held perfectly still. And sure enough, that's the one I walked out the door with. It was a long afternoon, sitting at my computer trying to get some work done, all the while thinking of fun things to do with my new toy, which was still in its box on the back seat of my car. But then my workdays can seem awfully long anyway, because when I'm at work, I'm not with Teresa (although she does sometimes make surprise lunchtime or evening visits). The hands on the clock slowly crept around as I struggled to figure out why my Huffman compression routines ran 50% slower than those in a competitor's product. My eyes were ready to glaze over as I stared at my code, trying to find the inefficiencies which had to be there, and then I glanced up at the clock, and it was 5:50. Yay! The traffic crawled slowly north on the 55, and it seemed to become slower in proportion to the remaining distance to my home. It was 6:30 when I pulled into my driveway and parked my Stanza next to Teri's new 240SX. I lugged the big box from my back seat to the front porch and set it down there, went back to my car and shut the door, returned to the front door, opened it, and hauled the box inside. My wife emerged from the hallway as I closed the door behind me with my foot. She looked at the big box on the floor and her eyes widened. "Oh Robert, you bought me a diamond!" She grinned as she put her arms around me. We hugged and kissed. There's no place like home. "Really, what did you get?" she asked after our lips disengaged. I reached down and spun the box around so the other end was visible. It showed a picture of the camera, along with a list of features in English and French. "I've been telling you that I was gonna get one some day, and today I finally broke down and did it. You realize now that we can't afford to buy any food for the next two months." "Well that's o.k. We have a whole loaf of bread, and we can split one slice between us every day." "And I know what I can eat every night... ROWWWF!" I pressed my face into her chest and shook it fiercely. She cried "eeeee!" and giggled, and I squeezed her tightly and planted my lips on hers. Some minutes later I was slicing through the top of the box with a Ginsu knife. I yanked the two flaps open, and Teri held down the box as I slid out its styrofoam-encased contents. Pretty soon the camera and its various accessories were spread out all over the coffee table in the living room. The battery pack was plugged into its charger, which I set to "fast charge". It would take two hours to fully charge, so I tore myself away from the new toy, and joined Teri in the kitchen. I made the lasagna while Teri baked home-made Italian bread. If it's Italian, we love it! (With the exception of tripe -- yuck.) Later that evening we were back in the living room. I made my usual attempt to get everything working without once consulting the manual, and failing that, we curled up on the couch and flipped through the manual together. Then I picked up the camera and slid in the charged-up (and still warm) battery, and then I popped my last blank tape into it. I turned the power on, rested the camera on my shoulder, and peered into the viewfinder. The room was displayed in black-and-white, with various indicator lights underneath it. I pressed the "record" switch with my thumb, and then got up and starting walking around the room, recording anything and everything. Taco appeared in my field of view, and I thumbed the zoom switch as I approached his perch. He eyed this oncoming monstrosity with good old-fashioned parrot panic, leapt from the perch to his cage, and dove behind it. Teri giggled. I swung around and trained the lens on her. She sat up straight, tossed her hair over the back of the sofa, and looked at me seductively. I slowly walked toward her until she filled the image, then dropped to one knee. Ooooh she looked scrumptious, even in B&W! Teri arched her back a little, pushing her breasts up underneath her shirt. My cock began to stiffen. She sat there and licked her lips, then blew kisses at the camera. Her body began to undulate just a little bit, and one hand began to rub her stomach. I recorded this as my horniness grew. Then she got up on her knees, grabbed the bottom of her shirt, and pulled it up over her head. Ooooh WOW I always love the sight of that! Her yummy stomach was exposed first, then those luscious breasts were lifted up slightly by the shirt, and then they flopped free and bounced and jiggled intoxicatingly, and I wanted to go over and squeeze them and feel them, but I kept on taping instead. Teri tossed the shirt on the table, then began to strike some very sexy poses for the camera. I "ooooh"ed and "aaaaah"ed her as she struck pose after sexy pose. She was giggling and having a lot of fun. Then I stopped the tape and put the camera down. "Come on, let's move this production upstairs." Teri slid off the couch and put an arm around me. I handed her the camera and picked her up in my arms. She put the viewfinder up to her eye, and recorded my face as I carried her up the stairs. I twisted my face into an expression of pure undisguised horny lust, which matched how I felt quite well! She giggled, and continued to record. We entered the bedroom, and I plopped her down on the bed. She trained the camera on me as I went over to the closet and began rooting around in the various boxes on the top shelf. My fingers grasped at objects that I hadn't seen in years... I grabbed one and tossed it on the bed next to Teri. She shrieked in surprise, and laughed. I felt around some more, and brought out another toy. Then I brought down one whole box and dumped its contents on the floor next to the bed. Teri still had the camera on me as I approached her, and she kept up a running commentary on the action: "...and this fearless reporter will continue to cover the events as they unfold, regardless of the danger--EEEEEEEE!!!!" The fearless reporter was smothered with kisses all over her face and body, and I snatched the camera and pointed it at her. She stretched out on the bed, and her face displayed defiance. "This reporter will not be frightened into giving up her story!" she declared firmly. I picked up the radio-controlled tank and put it on the bed, and held the camera on my shoulder with one hand while I operated the tank's controls with the other. The tank's treads moved in opposite directions as the armored vehicle of destruction turned toward the prone body of the brave reporter. Then it slowly thundered forward. "Eeeeeeeeek!" I watched the fun in the viewfinder as the tank climbed up on top of one sexy thigh, then dipped into the valley between her legs, and climbed up on her other thigh. I stopped the tank there, and it perched precariously as she stared at it wide-eyed. I thumbed a switch, and the tank's turret turned until it was pointed at her face. "Now, brazen young reporter, you will tell me who your source is!!" I said evilly. Her chest heaved up and down with fear, but she kept up her resolve. "Never!" The tank rumbled forward again, climbing down from her thigh. It turned and followed her leg down to her foot, then circled around it and headed back up again, between her legs. Its rubber treads met the insides of her thighs, and up it climbed again, right over her pussy and onto her stomach. "This is your last chance, you decadent tool of the lying capitalist press!" "I'll never talk!" The tank continued up her body. Its front pushed her breasts upward. Then it climbed up on top of them, its treads pushing down into the delicious flesh. Teri arched her back and shook her chest from side to side, trying (not too hard) to shake the tank off. It bounced around on her boobs, and I had to wrestle with the controls, turning the tank to one side and then the other, to keep it from plummeting over the side. I spoke in the panicked voice of the tank driver as he radioed his commander: "Sir, the Yankee swine is resisting our attack! We're losing traction, we're AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa...." With a final shake of Teri's chest, the tank tumbled off of her and landed upside-down on the bed. Teri made an "mmmmmm" sound of delight, and caressed her chest with her hands. I was SO horny then, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep away from her! But my sex-crazed mind had all these wild ideas I wanted to try... I stopped the tape in the camera, grabbed several items from the pile, and set to work. Teri continued to sprawl on the bed succulently as she watched my construction take shape. She again declared that nothing I could do could make her talk. I couldn't help glancing up to look at her every so often. (Every so VERY often!) I hefted the camera to my shoulder, went out into the hallway, and thumbed the record switch again. Taped underneath the lens was a piece of stiff wire, which protruded forward into the camera's field of view. At the other end of the wire, also held on with tape, was a plastic model of an F-16 fighter. In the viewfinder it looked quite like the rear view of a fighter in flight as I swooped into the bedroom. Teri's luscious body appeared on the horizon, and the fighter dove toward her. She clapped her hands to her face in mock horror, squeezing her breasts between her forearms. "ZZZZZZOOOOOOOM!!!" The fighter streaked across the sky just a foot or so above the recalcitrant reporter. Her whole body shook as the sonic boom buffeted it. The jet zoomed sideways along one wall, then leveled out over the dresser and turned back for another pass. The camera was quite heavy, and I had to be careful not to let it fly out of my hands of its own momentum! "You see, Yankee scum, there is no limit to the terrible forces that I can unleash upon your scrumptious body! Tell me all your secrets, and I'll let you live! (After I've had some fun with you first hehe...)" "I will not! I'd rather die than satisfy the evil aims of a Commie scoundrel such as you!" The jet streaked toward its yummy target. I held the camera with one hand now, and with the other I held an old can of Silly String underneath and a little forward of the lens. As the jet soared across its target, I depressed the nozzle. A solid stream of pink stuff flew out of the can and passed right under the jet, and in the viewfinder it looked as though the stuff was being emitted from some horrible new weapon on the fighter. The pink string landed across Teri's abdomen. "Yeeeeeeek!!!" "Yes, my dear, a terrifying new weapon developed by us and our Bulgarian comrades. It hardens on contact, and then it will begin to shrink. You will die horribly!" The jet zoomed around the room and made another pass, this time draping a thin pink rope across Teri's jiggling boobs. It made a somewhat awkward 360-degree loop above the bed, plummeted straight down toward its victim, and leveled off inches above her, leaving behind another pink trail of doom. The fighter made pass after pass, and soon strings of pink crisscrossed Teri's chest and stomach and arms and legs, like the ropes that bound Gulliver in the land of the Lilliputians. "Now you are trapped, TRAPPED! You lowly Americans should never have tangled with us. Now you will pay the pri-- WHAT!!?" The Silly String had dried, and when Teri arched her back and lifted her breasts, the strings that crossed her chest snapped. She flexed her sexy legs, and the strings that bound them broke too. She writhed her body, and the unbreakable bindings that should have held her captive forever disintegrated. Teri brushed the pink flakes off her body and legs with one hand. I had pulled the jet off the camera, and had gotten her amazing escape on tape. My cock was throbbing and aching, and I was near the end of MY rope... "I have foiled you again. You can NEVER keep me captive and perform your evil acts upon me!!" She flashed a victorious look for the camera. Her body stretched before me in all its succulent softness, and I couldn't hold back any more. I left the camera running, set its zoom lens to the widest possible angle, and propped the camera against the lamp on the nightstand, its lens pointed at the bed. I spoke in my most drooling, sex-crazed voice. "No my dear, there is still something I can do which you will not be able to escape." I dove onto the bed. "Yeeeeeee...!!!!" I was quickly on top of her, lustily kissing and licking every square inch of her flesh. My hands felt all over her body as my face buried itself in her chest. Teri grabbed my back and pushed my body against hers even tighter. I munched and licked and sucked, and then I lifted my head and slid up her body. I planted my lips on hers as I embraced her tightly. Her hands clutched at my pants and shoved them down, and shoved my underwear away likewise. One hand clutched my throbbing dick and stroked it as we continued to kiss. Then we were tumbling over and over on the bed, and I renewed my mental pledge to lick and kiss every square centimeter of her at least once. So much to do, and all the time in the world... On the nightstand, the camera ran for a little while longer, until the tape reached the end. It rewound the tape automatically. Then it switched itself off. --- Robert E. Epps.


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